Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Oh, they're good.  They're very good.

I mean the folks at Google, of course.

I just googled myself.  I'll admit it, I'm no different than anyone else.  But to my surprise, the top four results were actually references to me, and not some decade old obituary from some unfortunate who happens to share my name.  Wow.  Four out of four.  Astonishing.

Then I typed the same search into a "private" browser window, and discovered that to the rest of the world, I only get two of the top ten positions.  Of course, I'm sure that a query from France wouldn't even place me on the first page.

I'll assume that they aren't doing this on purpose.  But if they were, wouldn't it be brilliant?

Friday, January 21, 2011

The "myth" of global warming...

So I'm out on a beautiful winter's morning, shoveling off a light dusting of snow from my driveway, when I hear my neighbours chatting about global warming...

how today's weather completely disproves it...

how it's just not true...

and how much they wish it were true, since warming would be a "good thing".


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Thoughts on "Picasso at the Lapin Agile"

Mister Martin, if you please,

I'd like to set things straight.

We really have enjoyed your play

And all agree it's great!

But in amongst the funny bits

Scattered here and there

Are little bits that don't make sense

It really isn't fair!

Like why a roof should disappear,

Could you explain that please?

And how can scratching up a hand

Make girls weak in the knees?

No way can Pablo scratch a sketch

In just five seconds flat

Then sell it off for fifty francs

I'll have none of that.

Eighteen percent of twenty four

Works out to four and a third

With nine and five sixths in two other lots

It's really quite absurd!

A third of a bottle makes no sense

In legend or in myth

If fractional bottles must be used,

At least please make them "fifths"

I'm not going into parentheses here,

But if I did they’d match

Each end must have an open

As any editor should catch

Don't get me wrong here, Stevie-boy

I've loved your play, you see

With a hundred million in the bank,

You must know more than me!

The more I think about it, though

These things start making sense

Of course I could be losing grip

These last few weeks were tense

The joke that opens up act two

(Don't say "godzuntheit", please, )

It's starting to make sense to me

It's really quite a tease….

The man could not afford to send

A pie that was too large

Lower case was needed

To cut down on the charge

Of course he couldn't post it

At the ending of the tale

Cause if the baker sent it

It would have been (wait for it…) e-mail.

In closing, let me set it straight

I have enjoyed this show

Most of all because of all

These friend's I've come to know

Thanks for putting up with me

Missed cues, forgotten lines

But next to me, you must admit,

The rest of you look fine.

Though I've said all I need to say

I'll add one little touch

My favourite line of all the play,

Thank you, Thank you very much