Mister Martin, if you please,
I'd like to set things straight.
We really have enjoyed your play
And all agree it's great!
But in amongst the funny bits
Scattered here and there
Are little bits that don't make sense
It really isn't fair!
Like why a roof should disappear,
Could you explain that please?
And how can scratching up a hand
Make girls weak in the knees?
No way can Pablo scratch a sketch
In just five seconds flat
Then sell it off for fifty francs
I'll have none of that.
Eighteen percent of twenty four
Works out to four and a third
With nine and five sixths in two other lots
It's really quite absurd!
A third of a bottle makes no sense
In legend or in myth
If fractional bottles must be used,
At least please make them "fifths"
I'm not going into parentheses here,
But if I did they’d match
Each end must have an open
As any editor should catch
Don't get me wrong here, Stevie-boy
I've loved your play, you see
With a hundred million in the bank,
You must know more than me!
The more I think about it, though
These things start making sense
Of course I could be losing grip
These last few weeks were tense
The joke that opens up act two
(Don't say "godzuntheit", please, )
It's starting to make sense to me
It's really quite a tease….
The man could not afford to send
A pie that was too large
Lower case was needed
To cut down on the charge
Of course he couldn't post it
At the ending of the tale
Cause if the baker sent it
It would have been (wait for it…) e-mail.
In closing, let me set it straight
I have enjoyed this show
Most of all because of all
These friend's I've come to know
Thanks for putting up with me
Missed cues, forgotten lines
But next to me, you must admit,
The rest of you look fine.
Though I've said all I need to say
I'll add one little touch
My favourite line of all the play,
Thank you, Thank you very much